SOC344 2018 Tut4 – Shoalhaven

Isn’t it nice to be in love? Isn’t the feeling of love wonderful? But wait – are we talking about the enticing, heart-pounding, sexualised passionate form of love, or the steady-as-she goes companionate form of love we feel for friends, families and partners we’ve known a long time? Or are we talking about something else? Should love be overwhelming or considered? Perhaps it depends on our social context.

The experience and structures of love and intimacy in society have changed over time. Love in the Victorian Era involved published etiquette-based rules of courtship, and considerations of many things besides how one simply felt – there was one’s gender, class, finances, and the social respectability that came with marriage and family to keep in mind. Moving into contemporary times, Anthony Giddens describes the ‘transformation of intimacy’ in the later 20th century ‘late modern’ period, which continues today. We have so much more independence now from the constraints of traditional family and gender roles, that we can (and do) seek love and the ‘pure relationship’ in any number of forms. And Eva Illouz argues that this has created a society of commitment shy people – men in particular – and new inequalities in gender and intimacy.

What do you think? Has love changed? Is ‘all fair’ in love and sex these days?

#S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Posted in SOC327 - Emotions Bodies and Society, UOW.

9 Comments on SOC344 2018 Tut4 – Shoalhaven

Wendy Firth said : Guest Report 7 months ago

Hi all An engaged discussion happening here, well done. We all like to feel we know a little about about love : ] Leanne, you mention a video, but there is no link or title? Tiana, it would be good to provide a sociological lens for your second analogy in the same way you did for the first, that would add more strength to your argument. Best Wendy #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Leanne Watson said : Guest Report 9 months ago

The answer you might give to the question “Isn’t it nice to be in love?” could depend on your perspective. “Passionate sexualised” love, whilst stirring some warm, fuzzy feelings, can also be fraught with mixed feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anxiety. In Victorian times when marriages were sometimes arranged, passion might have been a temporary bonus for some who found their spouse particularly attractive. As the companionate form of love is more likely an emotional connection through a choice of commitment, attachment is a gradual process and nurtured, rather than a transient, passionate attraction, which is often lost when the inevitable supply of driving hormones is depleted. One is safer, committing to companionate love in the long run, aren’t they? Anthony Giddens’ explanation of ‘Plastic Sexuality’ in the modern culture highlights the vast opportunities that today’s society has to choose more freely and openly, without boundaries of gender or marriage constraints, but one thing to consider might be the fact that the other party also holds a similar unconstrained attitude, which could certainly lead to volatility, rather than stability in a relationship. The following video shows a scenario of expectations of a modern relationship. http://bit.ly/1W57TQ9 #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Leanne said : Guest Report 9 months ago

The answer you might give to the question “Isn’t it nice to be in love?” could depend on your perspective. “Passionate sexualised” love, whilst stirring some warm, fuzzy feelings, can also be fraught with mixed feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anxiety. In Victorian times when marriages were sometimes arranged, passion might have been a temporary bonus for some who found their spouse particularly attractive. As the companionate form of love is more likely an emotional connection through a choice of commitment, attachment is a gradual process and nurtured, rather than a transient, passionate attraction, which is often lost when the inevitable supply of driving hormones is depleted. One is safer, committing to companionate love in the long run, aren’t they? Anthony Giddens’ explanation of ‘Plastic Sexuality’ in the modern culture highlights the vast opportunities that today’s society has to choose more freely and openly, without boundaries of gender or marriage constraints, but one thing to consider might be the fact that the other party also holds a similar unconstrained attitude, which could certainly lead to volatility, rather than stability in a relationship. The following video shows a scenario of expectations of a modern relationship. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Leanne said : Guest Report 9 months ago

The answer you might give to the question “Isn’t it nice to be in love?” could depend on your perspective. “Passionate sexualised” love, whilst stirring some warm, fuzzy feelings, can also be fraught with mixed feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anxiety. In Victorian times when marriages were sometimes arranged, passion might have been a temporary bonus for some who found their spouse particularly attractive. As the companionate form of love is more likely an emotional connection through a choice of commitment, attachment is a gradual process and nurtured, rather than a transient, passionate attraction, which is often lost when the inevitable supply of driving hormones is depleted. One is safer, committing to companionate love in the long run, aren’t they? Anthony Giddens’ explanation of ‘Plastic Sexuality’ in the modern culture highlights the vast opportunities that today’s society has to choose more freely and openly, without boundaries of gender or marriage constraints, but one thing to consider might be the fact that the other party also holds a similar unconstrained attitude, which could certainly lead to volatility, rather than stability in a relationship. The following video shows a scenario of expectations of a modern relationship. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Josh Coulter said : Guest Report 9 months ago

The theory of love is usually culturally and socially constructed over times, the concept of love transforming is seen through the changing nature of society. Yes, I do believe love has changed, however, more in regards to how society has shaped and perceived their understanding of the word love. We work hard in society to support our leisure needs in life, with our lifestyle forever changing we need it to fit into our needs of satisfaction, intimacy and romance. In this transformation IIouz (2012) argues that the key issues are the changing of masculine status in men and the increasing time pressure on woman and their bodies. Through this development, jealousy, lust and longing for attention are all different forms of love Brown (2012), they can compromise relationships due to unattainability and restriction. As the meaning of love continues to change, with the development in social transformations activity such as the growth of feminism and legalizing same-sex marriage, classic traditions and cultures have changed to suit modern behaviours. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Demi McLatchie said : Guest Report 9 months ago

Has love changed? Of course, it has! The concept of love is a complex emotion which embodies different meanings for individuals in modern society. Love was typically categorised as an emotion shared between a man and a woman in one context and a connection to family members in another; however, the concept of love has expanded in recent times moving towards a societal acceptance of love between people of any gender, which has been referred to by Giddens (1991), as ‘plastic sexuality’. A further example of the changing concept of love can be reflected by the shift in gender roles within relationships, which is highlighted by Ilouz (2012 p. 75) as she suggests that women in modern society are more likely to pursue higher education and careers, whilst postponing their desire to have children; in contrast with women in the pre-1960’s, whom commonly were married with children from a young age, resultantly conforming to the gender stereotypes of that period. The movement away from traditional gender roles and constraints within relationships, reflects Giddens (1991) perception of a ‘pure relationship’ allowing for a more equal and genuine love between a couple. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Tiana Brown said : Guest Report 9 months ago

Not so much has changed on the forefront of love as a theoretical concept, and yet the way civilization approaches love has evolved on a morality level. In the nineteenth century, marriage was considered the social norm for the sexes as a source of commodity exchange for families who marry off their daughters to independent men of wealth in order to inherit finance and social status amongst the upper class. This is depicted in the works of Jane Austen as her use of free indirect discourse narration satires the economic exchange of women within the marriage market place. However, she gave her heroines the opportunity to turn down a marriage proposal in exchange for love. Eva Illouz argues that “The emergence of the free-market conditions for pairing hides the fact that they have been accompanied by a new form of emotional domination of women by men, expressed in women’s emotional availability and men’s reluctance to commit to women, because the conditions of choice have changed” (2012:104). Fast forward to the twentieth century, the concept of commitment was questioned after the disillusionment of society after the Great War. Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel by D.H. Lawrence written in 1929 that critically analyses how love and intimacy is represented through the mind and the body. My beliefs of morality within the framework of love and intimacy were questioned to the point where I became disgusted. I can’t believe that in today’s society, it’s “normal” to cheat on your partner and sleep around. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Tiana Brown said : Guest Report 9 months ago

Not so much has changed on the forefront of love as a theoretical concept, and yet the way civilization approaches love has evolved on a morality level. In the nineteenth century, marriage was considered the social norm for the sexes as a source of commodity exchange for families who marry off their daughters to independent men of wealth in order to inherit finance and social status amongst the upper class. This is depicted in the works of Jane Austen as her use of free indirect discourse narration satires the economic exchange of women within the marriage market place. However, she gave her heroines the opportunity to turn down a marriage proposal in exchange for love. Eva Illouz argues that “The emergence of the free-market conditions for pairing hides the fact that they have been accompanied by a new form of emotional domination of women by men, expressed in women’s emotional availability and men’s reluctance to commit to women, because the conditions of choice have changed” (2012:104). Fast forward to the twentieth century, the concept of commitment was questioned after the disillusionment of society after the Great War. Lady Chatterley's Lover is a novel by D.H. Lawrence written in 1929 that critically analyses how love and intimacy is represented through the mind and the body. My beliefs of morality within the framework of love and intimacy were questioned to the point where I became disgusted. I can’t believe that in today’s society, it’s “normal” to cheat on your partner and sleep around. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

Tiana Brown said : Guest Report 9 months ago

Not so much has changed on the forefront of love as a theoretical concept, and yet the way civilization approaches love has evolved on a morality level. In the nineteenth century, marriage was considered the social norm for the sexes as a source of commodity exchange for families who marry off their daughters to independent men of wealth in order to inherit finance and social status amongst the upper class. This is depicted in the works of Jane Austen as her use of free indirect discourse narration satires the economic exchange of women within the marriage market place< / a>. However, she gave her heroines the opportunity to turn down a marriage proposal in exchange for love. Eva Illouz argues that “The emergence of the free-market conditions for pairing hides the fact that they have been accompanied by a new form of emotional domination of women by men, expressed in women’s emotional availability and men’s reluctance to commit to women, because the conditions of choice have changed” (2012:104). Fast forward to the twentieth century, the concept of commitment was questioned after the disillusionment of society after the Great War. Lady Chatterley's Lover< / a> is a novel by D.H. Lawrence written in 1929 that critically analyses how love and intimacy is represented through the mind and the body. My beliefs of morality within the framework of love and intimacy were questioned to the point where I became disgusted. I can’t believe that in today’s society, it’s “normal” to cheat on your partner and sleep around. #S344UOW18 #Tut4 #Shoal

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